Final Entry

This is the final entry for this blog. It has been a hectic and sad couple of weeks. The visitation yesterday for Cindy was really moving. There were so many people that came out to pay their respects, I know that the whole family was really honored. Cindy was loved by so many people.

The funeral was today, and it was beautiful. Looking out into the pews, right before the the service, was really amazing. Again, there were so many faces! It was a true testament to what kind of person Cindy was. Popular and loved. The songs and bible verses were really inspirational. They truly fit Cindy. The sermon and memories were really specia tool. Ryan and I had a good time putting together the slide show for Cindy. It was hard at times, but there were some really great memories. Cindy passed here photobug gene down to Ryan! The campers singing at the end was priceless and I know Cindy was smiling down on them from Heaven.

After the DELICIOUS meal that the church put on, the whole extended family went back to the Kelly house to spend time together. We had a lot of people in from out of town. It was great to see Jack's brothers and sisters and cousins from a far. We also got to share a lot of memories about Cindy. She would've loved to see us all together. The kids played, we laughed, and remembered.

It is still pretty surreal that Cindy is gone. I am sure it won't sink in for awhile and the impact is still so new. She was such an amazing person and I am very grateful to have her as a role model of an wonderful wife and mother. I will miss her very much. So, to Cindy.... until we meet again in Heaven. I love you mom.

PS... Cameron told God today that he wants his house in Heaven exactly one block from yours. That way he can walk to your house. :)

Donations and Clarification

Carrie (Cindy's niece) started a page in honor of Cindy on the Susan G. Komen website. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made. Here is the site....

http://www.info-komen.org/goto/cindykelly

Also, just for clarification... the visitation on Friday is at Baumann and everything on Saturday is at St. Paul's. Just so everyone knows. Here is a recap:
Friday: 2pm-9pm visitation @ Baumann
Saturday: 9:30am-11:00am visitation @ St. Paul's 11:00am-12:00pm funeral service @St. Paul's 12:00pm luncheon @St. Paul's.
All of the addresses and websites are on the previous post. Thanks.

Heaven and Arrangements

I know that some of you have heard that Cindy passed on to a better place today. It happened this morning, very peacefully. She was surrounded by family. The family is very comforted knowing that she is in Heaven and out of pain. The arrangements were made this afternoon and here is all the information.

There will be a visitation on Friday, July 30th, 2010 from 2pm-9pm at Baumann Colonial Chapel. The address is 2504 Woodson Rd. Overland, Missouri 63114. Their website is www.baumannchapel.com The phone number is 314-427-2345 or 1-800-427-5145

On Saturday, July 31st, 2010 there will be a short visitation from 9:30am-11:00am, then the funeral at 11:00am-12:00pm, and a luncheon at 12pm at St. Paul's Evangelical Church. The address is 9801 Olive Blvd. ,Creve Coeur, MO 63141. Their website is http://stpaulsefree.org

The family asks in lieu of flowers that donations be made to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Here is their website: www.Komen.org

Thank your all for the support and we were all blessed to have had Cindy in our lives.

Todays News and Marriage

Ryan and I just got home from picking the kids up from my brother's house. The whole Kelly and Coleman family (and Carrie!) were together today with Cindy. They freed her from her tubes and wires around noon. She was surrounded by love and family. Cindy continues to breathe on her own and remain here on Earth. The family keeps praying for her to be comfortable and without pain. We also are just imagining the homecoming she will receive when she gets to heaven.... so many people waiting for her. Until then, we pray and are with her.

As Ryan and I take this journey, we realize even more what an amazing marriage Jack and Cindy have had. What great role models they are for us. They embody love and commitment. They way that they were with each other, you can just feel the connection that they have. It is really a blessing to be able to see them together and have them for parents. Their marriage made five wonderful children. I hope that Ryan and I can be as happy as they are through the years.

Tomorrow

Well. Tomorrow they are going to unhook Cindy from all that she is tethered too. She will be free from the cords, tubes, and bags. The doctors feel that there is nothing more that can be done. She has fought long and hard the last five years, and it is her time to be reunited with her loved ones and God in Heaven. It really will be a relief for her with no pain or sickness. The prayers that the Kelly family are asking for is that she go quickly and without pain. She has suffered long enough. We also pray for strength to make it through the rough road ahead. Thank you for reading and all the support. Keep praying and I will keep you updated.
Missy

Grandkids

This is the toughest subject to talk about. But it was one of the most important to Cindy. She was crazy about her grand kids. CRAZY!!! She loved them and treated them like royalty. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Cameron, Cindy was in love. She called Cameron her prince and her cookie. She would shower him with a million kissies. In Cameron's eyes, Grammy is the best. He has told me that a lot. In the picture above you can see the pride in her eyes.

Then Ryleigh was born. Princess Ryleigh. We were all overjoyed to have a girl. We gave her the middle name Rose for Cindy's mom and Aunt Katie. Cindy and Katie made sure she was treated just like a princess. She was Grammy's cupcake and got chocy milk whenever she wanted.

Jack and Cindy were gracious enough to watch the kids while I went to work during the school year. I never worried about them. They would fill their days with playing outside, baking cookies, zoo visits, and other fun activities. Somethings I wouldn't know about... what happens at Grammy's house stays at Grammy's house. The only times I saw Cindy upset with her being sick was when she couldn't get the kids. She would always ask, when can I pick up or hold my grand kids.

Then in April Kieran was born. I am glad that Cindy got to be there. In fact, they were the first ones there at 3am when we got to the hospital. It makes me happy to know that she met him. We are blessed and lucky to have such wonderful parents and grandparents in our lives. My kids will never forget her. We have pictures, videos and our memories to pass on. Thank you Cindy, Mom, and Grammy.

Daily Report and Band Parents

Not much of a change again today. We still are waiting for the doctor's advice tomorrow. Seems that not much happens at the hospital on the weekend. The kids and Jack were altogether again today at the hospital. John and Angie headed back to Springfield and will return on Tuesday. We are back home after picking the kids up from my mom's house (thanks mom). It is hard to ship them around, but we are thankful that we have so many who are willing to help.




Something else we were talking about yesterday was the fact that Jack and Cindy were expert band parents. All 5 of their kids were in marching bands. 3 different schools actually and from 1991 to 2008. That is where I met the Kelly's. I actually knew Jack and Cindy before I knew Ryan. All the kids knew the Kellys. Cindy was always sweet and took care of us. Friends we have known since high school always ask about them. They were at all of the competitions. Ryan and I taught where the younger kids went to school and got to travel to many competitions together with Jack and Cindy. They were always so supportive of the kids. This picture is from Katie's senior year at one of her last competitions. The whole family came in to cheer her on. It was very cool and yet another thing that was done as a family.

Preparing

We spent the afternoon and evening with the family at the hospital. There has been no real improvements with Cindy's condition. The Herceptin does not seem to be effecting her. She wasn't opening her eyes or anything. The boys and Jack met with Pastor Mark to start thinking about arrangements. The doctors will reevaluate her on Monday. There might be nothing more that they can do. The family is preparing for that.

This is crushing to all of us. It is also really hard to see her in the state that she is in. We cling to the fact that Cindy will be in no more pain and in a better place. She will be reunited with her mother, her father, her sister, and God. We would like to keep her here, but it seems as if she is being called home.

We spent the evening at the Graeler's house for a good meal and great companionship. Today we talked a lot about the changes and how we can keep her memory alive. Through all of this, the family has come together and friends have come to support. That is the silver lining... and I think that Cindy would want us to see that. Family and friends are what matter most.

Camp

I know that St. Paul's leaves for camp this weekend. Cindy LOVED camp. She always loved the outdoors. Camping was one of her favorite things. And she loved God. Not to mention she loved teaching and working with kids. So camp was right up her alley and combined a bunch of things that she loved. I never got to experience camp with her, but she would come home with great stories. She also was really energized from camp. I was just thinking of that this morning.

I haven't heard anything new yet. Ryan and I are going down this afternoon after we drop the kiddos of at my mom's house. I will write more about how she is doing. Keep praying that the Herceptin does something, anything. Thanks for reading.

Todays News

They gave Cindy the Herceptin treatment this afternoon and there were no adverse effects. So far her mental and physical state are about the same as it was before. No real responses but no negative effects either. They are going to come in Monday to exam her to decide if they are going to do a second dose or not. So I guess we wait the weekend and see. Nothing else much to say. Keep praying for her and I will update as we find out more. Thanks.

Missy

New Treatment and Family Vacations

I hear that the Herceptin treatment will happen around 2 o'clock. Just wanted to let everyone know. I will write later this evening to let you all know how it went.

A couple of things I have been thinking about....

One of the best things that we have done as a family has been vacationing together. Jack and Cindy have taken us on some of the BEST vacations and we have made memories to last a life time. The first of these memorable vacations was Ireland.

Above is all of us in Galway, Ireland. The tour guide Gerrard (Cindy could never pronounce his name... it was funny!) called us the Kelly Clan and we were. We saw things that were amazing and we spent time together. Michael talked to pigs, we kissed the Blarney stone, visited Aunt Nora... and many other adventures. So cool.

This picture up above is the surprise (for Jack) trip that we took to Alaska. We cruised and saw the sites. We celebrated Jack's birthday and spent time together yet again in an amazing atmosphere. The highlight of the trip was the helicopter ride to the glacier. Breathtaking.

The last trip we took together was to Disney World (Cindy's favorite place). This time we had the two grand kids and we even had my brother Ben and his fiance Stephanie. Again, we all spent time together and made great memories. It was especially fun to see Cameron and Ryleigh react to everything around them.

When my kids are older, I hope that we can do for them what the Kelly's have done for us. Take family vacations with each other. The time we spent together created a thousand memories that we are all grateful for. I love to look through the albums and remember. It is even better when we get together and laugh about our experiences. Good times.

Lots of Support

We have had some much support over the last couple of weeks. Ryan and I personally have had sitters for the kids, dinners brought, and lots of moral support. Thank you to everyone. Knowing that people are there really makes this time a little easier. I know Jack and the other kids have had the same. They thank everyone too!

Now on to today's report. She got infused with the chemo again today and finished a long EEG. No real results from that test yet. They are looking to see if there is any seizure activity. There was really no improvement as far as her being responsive. While we were there this evening, we had no physical responses from her. It is really hard to see her like this and not be able to talk to her.

The doctors met with Jack and the kids this evening. They are going to go ahead a try the Herceptin chemo treatment tomorrow. This is something that she hasn't had yet in this setting. A different type of chemo than what they have used this week. Here is a site about the drug Herceptin.
http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/targeted_therapies/herceptin/how_works.jsp
Cindy has had Herceptin before, but not like this. This is a big deal because doing this treatment directly into the brain and spinal fluid hasn't been done very many times. The doctors don't really know what is going to happen. But, the current treatment is not working. The family was in agreement that it was worth a shot. They will do this tomorrow, and then probably again on Monday and see what happens. We are all hoping for the best.

Again, we are asking for lots of prayers. I will let you know what happens tomorrow. We are not sure what time the treatment will take place. Thanks for reading.

About the same.

Ryan and I went to the hospital this afternoon. Michael, Katie, Tom, and Jack were there too. The McRoys came up and got us some lunch (thanks!). Ryan and I miss Tom and Michael. We are glad they are home and really like talking to them.

But on with the update.... Cindy is about the same today (so far). She has gotten another chemo treatment at around 11am. That is the 3rd one out of 5. They also took some fluid out to culture to see if they want to add a different type of chemo to this chemo. You see, Cindy's cancer is HER-2 positive. Here is link that describes it:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-cancer/AN00495
So they are thinking of adding Herceptin to her treatment. There is not a lot of research on this though. So, Jack and the doctors will talk about it and decide what to do.

Other than the chemo, she is still opening and tracking people with her eye. She is squeezing (softly) with her hand and nodding. They did a neuro exam and said that she is doing better, but not quite where she should be (according to the doctors). The doctors are also doing a 24 hour EEG to measure if there is any seizure activity.

The messages that people are leaving are very comforting to the family... keep them coming! They are reading and checking the blog frequently. We continue to wait and see what happens next. Cindy is such a fighter. Keep praying and thanks for reading.

PS....

If you want to share stories about Cindy or comment on here, we are talking to her daily and will share it with her. I am hoping to show this to her when she can see it. I think that would be neat. Thanks!

Really good day!

We went down to see Cindy this evening and she looked really good. She was alert and looking at us. She also squeezed some hands today and nodded to 3 of Katie's questions. This is fantastic!!! At 5pm they did the second chemo treatment and there were no seizures. The doctors seemed to be pleased too. So we will wait and see what the next couple of days bring with more treatments to come. I really can't wait to see how she does tomorrow. She is still intibated, but we are all hoping that the tube comes out soon. Her blood pressure was really great too.

Angie brought up something that we had talked about. Cindy never has complained about what the cancer has done to her. She listens to us and does not let on that she feels ill. She doesn't want us to worry about her, she wants to take care of all of us. That is just how she is. I think that she will show this cancer who is boss. Keep praying and thanks for reading!

Traditions and GREAT NEWS (at the bottom of the blog)

We Kellys (I was adopted in many years ago) have lot of traditions. Some little and some big. I was thinking of some of those lately. The picture above is from our annual trek to the Christmas tree farm the day after Thanksgiving. We all have gone together to pick out a tree for many years. I was even allowed to go pre-marriage to see this annual ritual. This included a race to the top of the hill from the Kelly children, trees being balanced on one hand by Jack, and I have even heard of movies that were made. My kids now accompany us. Jack and Cindy have even let parts of my family (you see Ben in the background) come along. We look forward to it every year. We usually even get Christmas tree cakes at the end.



Another tradition that we have started is to make birthday cakes for my kids. This picture is of the castle cake that we made for Ryleigh in May. Cindy has taught me a lot about cake decorating and she always tries to give me way too much credit. We have done a caterpillar, baseball, 2 trains, lego blocks, a purse, and a flower cake. I always enjoy these cake marathons. Usually we have Katie helping too. It was too funny trying to ice marshmallows for the pegs on the lego cake. We can tell you, marshmallows don't ice very well!
As I was typing this, Jack just called. They started feeding Cindy through the tube again. She also has opened her eyes and we think that she sees us! This is GREAT NEWS. She hasn't been alert in quite some time, but the kids and Jack think that she sees them. I am so excited!!! Ryan and I plan on heading up tonight after Ryan is off of work to bring up the dinner that the McRoys made. I can't wait to see her. GOOD NEWS!! Keep the prayers coming. Thanks for reading.

Good News

Jack just called me and gave me an update. Cindy is off of her blood pressure medicine and holding it on her own! That means her breathing is regular on it's own and so is her blood pressure. Very good news. They put the dye in her port and tested it. We are just waiting on the results to see if there is anything wrong there. She also should have a treatment today with the chemo.

Keep the prayers coming. She seems to be getting stronger!!!!

Everyone is home.

Let's see, where to start. Well all 5 kids were together with Jack and Cindy today. That was nice to see under not so great of circumstances. Michael got into town about 1am last night. I know that Cindy was so happy to see all of her kids. They haven't all been together since Christmas.

When we came to the hospital in the morning, there was really not too much of a change. She did look a little less swollen and her breathing was more relaxed. They also had taken the dose of her blood pressure medicine down a little bit.

The doctors came in this evening and gave the family some more information. They did a neurological exam and there was really no voluntary responses. They decided to go ahead with the chemo treatment tomorrow and do a neuro exam each day to measure the progress. They are also going to inject some dye into her port, scan her brain, and then see if there is anything going on there. The oncologist said that we will know by the end of the week if the chemo is having any effect at all. We are also in uncharted territory. None of the doctors have had a case like this, so no one is sure what is going to happen. It is a wait and see situation. Since we don't know what will happen, we are of the belief that anything could happen. So we wait.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid." (John 14:27)

Epcot

We were talking about his picture yesterday and I thought I would share it with everyone. This pic was taken at Disney World in 2008. Cindy had just had her second brain surgery weeks before, but insisted we take the family trip. It was AWESOME. The whole Kelly clan at Disney was a true experiance.

Why this picture though? Well this day we were at Epcot. A couple of hours into the day there was a storm that busted one of the main electrical supplies to Epcot. The rides were shut down, it was raining, and the natives were restless. We were sitting in this room watching Cameron and Ryleigh run rampant. Everyone's spirits were down... except Cindy. She said we are at Disney. There was nothing bad about that. I look back and she was 100% correct. That was her. She always had a positive outlook on anything. After a brain surgery, a park that was shut down, and a giant storm.... she was the one that could see that we were all together and that is what mattered.

Long Day

Well it has been a long day. We got a phone call last night at 11:30 that Cindy was rapidly regressing mentally. Her blood pressure was really low and she wasn't responding. The moved her the ICU at SLU Hospital. We rushed out there to see what was going on. They put her on blood pressure meds to stabilize her pressure. They did a head CT to see if there was any bleeding from the port procedure. There wasn't.

As the day went on, the doctors and Jack decided that it would be a good idea to go ahead and try to start the chemo to see if it would do any good. After awhile they did the chemo treatment and Cindy had a couple of seizures. They put her back on anti-seizure medication. Then the seizures stopped. In the afternoon she had some high blood sugars and erratic breathing. Also treated with different medications. We haven't seen much improvement from the chemo yet. They are not going to do a treatment tomorrow, but will probably do one on Tuesday.

Again, there were lots of visitors and people who wanted to see Cindy. John and Angie extended there stay for a couple more days and best of all Tommy got into town from New York this evening. Michael is on his way as I type from LA. The whole family will be back together tomorrow to support each other. Cindy's niece Carrie is supposed to be coming in also. Lots of family and friends to help in this tough time. I will have more news tomorrow. Thanks for reading and keep the prayers coming.

Busy Day

It was a busy day today. Cindy had lots of visitors. You can really tell that she is loved. There was a waiting list to get in to see her! She is very popular.

New things today.... She finally got the feeding tube in and working with food. She really hadn't eating anything in about 4 days. We are sure that she will feel much better with something in her stomach. We had a certain nurse that made that happen! Thank you Heather. She seemed more alert today than yesterday, but still under the anesthesia quite a bit. Again, hopefully the food and the doses of meds on Monday will bring her back to us.

As far as the chemo treatment goes, we have gotten a little more details about how that is going to run. They will start it with a dose on Monday. Then a another dose on Thursday. Then on Monday and Thursday again the following week. Four doses altogether. She will not be getting Herceptin, but another drug (I can't remember the name). This other chemo is a little more documented and tested. Once the initial doses are in, she will only get more as needed to battle the symptoms. And so we wait for this to do its job. We all know that the chemo will not cure the cancer, but hopefully slow its effects.

The whole family appreciates the outpouring of support and love. This is a hard time, but it is made a little easier with the love of family and friends. Hopefully I will have some great news next week. Thanks for reading.

Port is in!

We just got settled in at home and got to see Cindy at the hospital. The port was successfully put in and tested. She was still pretty out of it, which was to be expected. With the last brain surgery, it took her a while to come completely out of the anesthesia. So now we wait until Monday so she can get the chemo treatment.

The oncologist called and talked to Jack and said that she knew of a patient in a similar situation that had the same chemo treatment and she was back to herself within a couple of weeks of starting the treatments. That was encouraging. You see, Cindy has had a lot of trouble speaking, eating, and other things since she had the initial seizures and surgery.... but this chemo hopefully will diminish those symptoms greatly. That is our prayer.

John and Angie are in town for the weekend. That will be good. She will be surrounded by friends and family. There has been such a outpouring of concern and support about Cindy. You know that this family and this woman is so loved and cared for. Everyone I talk to sends their love and is truly wants to be there for her and the family. It is a blessing for us and Cindy. Feel free to leave comments for her. I will definately show her this when she is able to see it. Thanks for reading.

Missy

Some messages that have been sent out lately.

History- Cindy was diagnosed with breast cancer about 5 years ago. In the last five years she has been through numerous surgeries, chemo, whole brain radiation, and this list goes on. Through all of this, she has kept a positive attitude and held this family together. The most recent development has been heartbraking, and we wanted to share this with her family and friends. I hope this helps.

Here are some early posts that I have sent out to get everyone up to date. Hope this helps you all understand what is going on.

From 7-14-2010
Ok. Again I know this is way impersonal, but it is almost 11 at night and I don't want to wake you guys up, so here it is. Today Cindy was diagnosed with carcinomatous meningitis. If you read the 2nd post on this page, it explains it pretty well. http://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/all,285,0.htm
Basically the cancer has spread to her spinal fluid and is effecting her brain and system. The plan now is to treat her with chemo (herceptin) through a port in her head. This is going to happen in the next day or two. The chemo will either work (as in she will be able to eat, talk, go back to the rehab center) or not. We should know within the next week or two if it is working If the chemo doesn't work, the prognosis is 4-6 weeks. If it does work, the prognosis is 3-12 months. Those are the facts.... My thoughts are we will wait and see what the treatment will do. We are all hoping that it will give her somewhat of a normal life so that we get Cindy back for at least a while. Ryan and I will be trying to make trips out to SLU as much as possible to see her and see how she is doing. Jack and Katie have been there on a daily basis. We want her to get back the the rehab center as soon as possible, because the whole family can visit her there. And then maybe home once she gets stronger! Anyway. If you have any questions or anything. Let me know. Again, sorry this is impersonal... but I am thinking of you all and wanted to let you know what was going on.Missy

From 7-15-2010
OK... she is having the port put in her head tomorrow. They will knock her out (for lack of better terms) and get it going. They are hoping to get it in early afternoon. Then they will wait to do the chemo until Monday. They want to wait to do chemo because of risk of hemmoraging (sp?) and infection. Again, once she gets the chemo, she should respond quickly. We went down again this evening and she was in good mental spirits. She is really trying to talk, but it is still hard. Once the chemo does its work, she should regain a lot that is not there right now. They also want to transfer her after the first couple of treatments to St. John's because that is where her oncologist is. So that is it for today. Thanks for listening, this thread of messages kind of helps me organize my thoughts.

Today:
Her surgery for the port is supposed to be anytime now. We are going to drop the kids off at my Dad's and then head down so we can see her afterwards. John and Angie are coming up this evening and will be in town all weekend. Katie said that she was tired this morning, but communicating by this afternoon. I told her that Cindy is just not a morning person:) I will write when I get home to let you know how it went. We are all just waiting to see what the chemo will do. Pray for her. I know we all are!